Socializing at work…where to draw the line?

We have been living in a very socially charged world ever since our delayed (“staggering” may be a better word) departure from the pandemic. This phenomenon has made its way into the workplace where companies now want to see their teams more engaged and socializing at work.

The idea here is that to keep people “happy” and productive, you need to give them a reason to want to come into work, a reason to make work fun, and create a strong company culture. However, sometimes it can be tricky navigating your way around work socials and interactions with colleagues. Just where do you draw the line and “how social” do you need to be?

The first thing to understand is that it’s okay to say no. Unless an activity, event, or outing is mandatory you should not feel bad about declining invites, especially if you have other plans or if it’s something that makes you feel uncomfortable.

Whatever the reason if you plan to decline you should employ tactful communication at all times. No one likes getting rejected.

One small caveat (there’s always a caveat): when you say “no” you need to consider the potential consequences that this can have on your work life and maybe even your career with your current employer. Not being a part of events could reflect negatively on you, especially if you always decline company meet ups. You may not look like a team player, and this could easily be uninterested, disengaged or “anti-social.” If you’re not “a part of the club” after a while, you may stop getting invites all together. This could impact your relationships in the office and how others treat you. It doesn’t seem fair, does it? This isn’t high school.  

Declining invites can also be a way of you missing out on opportunities to set a positive example for others around you, especially if you are in a leadership role. Additionally, if you are someone who is interested in being promoted or career development (which we assume you are or else you would not be reading this blog) being in the rooms (pubs, golf courses, offsites etc.) where conversations are happening will benefit you. People will remember you and your name come promotion time!

Yes? No? Maybe so? How do you find the balance?

Be selective. Instead of (unwillingly) going to meet ups every time an event invite is sent to your calendar, commit to attending one gathering a month or per quarter. Pick the ones that seem to be the most popular, the ones that your managers have rsvp’d yes to. This is usually a strong indicator that this is something you need to show up for. By doing this, you’re being both social and strategic.

Rain check? Instead of saying no every time, how about saying something similar to: “I so appreciate the invite, and this sounds like it would be so much fun. However, I already have plans, but I’d love to make it out next time with the team. Please keep me posted!” 

Create alternatives. If you are uncomfortable with an event and you notice that this is something that gets the team excited. Suggest an alternative. Try and think of something that most people would enjoy and don’t just suggest, be a part of the coordination. Granted, there are going to be time when you will have to step out of your comfort zone. But, that’s a different blog for another day.

In short, having that interaction with others around in an office can be healthy and good for your wellbeing and mental health.